Today You Don't Exist

The golden rule reversed, treat as being treated. Sure, my questions answered, and mostly I am being crazy. And yet, it became obvious that I am more invested, hanging onto impossible hopes. My insecurity and my loneliness however remain unacknowledged. Perhaps this is all payback for my past... The little white lie, that I only had to say once, because why repeat yourself? Why think that anything has changed unless I say so? But it isn't that he thinks that way at all- as I accidentally stumbled upon evidence last night. One thing I wanted to hear, that can be said ten or more times over the course of a conversation to another in the past, can't even be returned back at me? I feel like it's mostly been said in instances he is trying to alleviate mental guilt or out of feeling it is expected. So today, perhaps more days, I will ignore as I am being ignored. I wonder if it will even be noticed? Apologies for nothing juicy or even explanatory. I might change that, might not. no promises.