Idiots

So, my internet was off for a week and a half, and it got in the way.  But then, I started getting accustomed to dealing with regulars only.  Well, that can't always get a girl by, and certainly doesn't get rent together.  So, tonight I've posted twice, and I'm remembering how much I hate dealing with the BS, or it's reinforcing my avoidance of doing such.  So many guys lowballing, or disregarding that I asked for money straight off.  Then there are others trying to trade things like cocaine (ugh!  Like I'm not already nervous enough meeting you) or as little as ONE 1mg Xanax pill.  Come the fuck on!  I hope my night picks up, and soon.  I can't handle dealing with people for much longer this evening, I'm not in the right frame to stay up all night chasing after all of this.

Nice Guys Finish Last

As I watch the big fight scene with the Crazy 88 in Kill Bill, I remember seeing this for the first time, with the first boyfriend I had sex with, while we were stoned.  We were holding hands and watching this scene made me very aroused.  Afterward, I took his hand and led him upstairs..

Tonight, a guy who ha been looking for a regular, who has not been impressed so far with what he has encountered in this town - he says they seem not to enjoy what they do and lack personality, came to visit me.  He cancelled our date, but offered to come by an prepay me.  I met him, but I refused any money.  After all, if I took any from him, it would be wrong on my part not to be available the moment he wants to see me.  I only know for certain when one person is going to come see me tomorrow, and I have to go see someone else in the morning sometime before 11, so i can't be tied up in that way.  The man was very nice.  He's a bigger guy, and he is extremely lacking in confidence.  When he briefly spoke of his family, I saw the origin of this problem - his family.  Strict parents who have basically tossed him aside because he does not have any children.  It's so sad when people think that breeding is the only thing that makes a person worthwhile.  In a way, that's sick.  Not only is the world overpopulated, but it's horrible to be raised by people who do not want you in the first place.  He didn't like being called nice, he said, "Nice guys finish last."  I can see what he means.  Although, I prefer nice guys.  Funny that my longest relationship was with an asshole.  But I'm not the type to go for asshole guys in the first place - that ex cane across differently than what he turned out to be once we lived alone together and he wasn't concerned with keeping everyone entertained all of the time.

I have not heard from one of my regulars in quite some time.  I'm a bit concerned.  I really enjoy him.  He asked if he was my favorite, I told him that he is, and I was not lying.  He reminds me of someone on whom I have a long-standing crush, a guy that lives in Phoenix named Derek.  It's like getting to have him beside me. I let him hang out with me for a while, hours sometimes, without asking for extra for extra time.  I'm not strict with him regarding how much he pays, I've taken as little as 40 from him.  If hanging out and fucking around for a few hours for forty dollars doesn't say "favorite" - I don't know what does.

I am not making any new posts tonight.  I have tried to give myself a cutoff time the last few nights, but haven't really been sticking to it.  Maybe I should have posted, as answering my emails and responding to a few ads brought me nothing, but oh well.  I can't waste the whole day asleep tomorrow, I have a few people who want to see me throughout the day, other than the people who already have set deadlines.

Pinch

Last night, a man came to see me.  He asked for an hour.  Little did I know, he would be focused on me for most of that time.  He liked to play with my tits a lot.  he'd massage them, play with the nipples, suck on them, lick them, knead them, and pinch them.  He played a bit hard, but it happens.  Let's face it, way way too hard at times, but then he'd back off and start playing lightly.  I'm accommodating  can have a hard time with protesting out loud (but I'm sure my hands moving up toward my breasts did the talking for me!)  He massaged my thighs, played with my clit, back up again.. both at once...

After that, I went down on him.  At first, he said he wanted to have sex too, but I guess that it was enough for him!

Since then, I've been attached to the computer.  Nothing has come of it.  Of course, now that the landlord is here, and my brother wants me to visit him in the hospital, NOW everyone wants to see me!

This is my luck.  I've had a difficult time getting past a certain Point.  Once I have some money saved up, I will get a day or so of nothing, or hardly anybody at all.

I slept all Saturday night.  Hell of a time for me to finally be worn out.  And now, up all night once again, the cycle starts over.

Another Day, Where's the Dollar?

This week has been extremely difficult.  I'm barely making it right now, late on rent.  I've spent entirely too much time on people who just want to waste time, or flake out, or mess with me, and plenty of people trying to get me to make an exception for them.  I've held off the landlord, he expects everything in the morning.  $350 to go, in eight hours or less.  This had just better be the best night ever.

Please Excuse the Tackiness

Sometimes my ads attract guys looking for friends with benefits, or a free encounter, a girlfriend (strange for being in the "casual" section), or assholes looking to fuck with people.

Yesterday, I had an email exchange with a guy who was either looking for free, or wasting time messing with girls on there.  Either one is equally likely.  He replied with pictures, some trying to look like Mr. GQ, as well as various shots of a body that probably frequently sees the inside of a gym.

He said, "Your ad intrigued me and I think I fit your bill pretty well.. As for me, I'm 30, legitimately attractive (read: not internet standard attractive), fit, witty, probably over-educated, very intelligent, and down-to-earth, despite how how proficient I may be at pitching myself...I work in finance but I'm only like 23% douchebag  and I would say that I'm likely the least creepy guy trolling Craigslist for dates......Let me know if you're interested and I'll gladly tell you more.. I attached some pictures - please excuse the tackiness."

I replied with my standard pictures and information, and also included that I got the impression that he wasn't looking to pay for it. My ad's amusing nature may have made him think that I wasn't looking for pay, however I find that most of the girls on there have ads that are any or all of the following: too obvious, too boring, and insincere - how can a girl be "so horny" for a guy she has never even seen?

He wrote back "You really think there's any possible chance that a guy like me would pay a girl like you?  Seriously?  I sincerely doubt I'd even have sex with you if I was drunk and I certainly wouldn't be seen out in public with you...  Hahaha does the word "delusional" mean anything to you?"

I said, "Ok cool.  Have a good night."

He came back with,"Ya you too...maybe take a moment and digest everything I just said. It might help you avoid some disappointment."

I told him, "I read it just fine.  I'm not disappointed.  Thanks anyway."

I could have wasted time with him, going back and forth, telling him that there are plenty of guys, some much better looking than he is, who will gladly pay me, and that most of the guys want to pleasure me, as well.  I could have said that a lot of people who are attractive and are under the impression that they're hot shit - tend to suck in bed.  I could have told him that he's silly to expect that the site, in Las Vegas, is going to have many girls not looking for money, and that I never said I did not want any in the ad.  In fact, because the section is filled with prostitution, if a girl does not want money - she says so right in her ad!  I could have said that if i hadn't asked him for money up front, he probably would have jumped at the chance to see me, until I did mention it.  Then he would have tried to come up with some alternate put-down. I could have set him straight on a lot of assumptions. But I did not waste my time, one night I did bother doing that, and eventually had to tell the guy since he's so bent on getting the last word, he could have it, and I would not be reading it.  He responded a few more times to that.  I still don't know what the replies say.  I figured that if he was another one of those kind of guys, who troll the site in attempt to rile girls up, that blowing him off would piss him off even more.  Either way, it was not worth wasting time on him.

Earlier today, I saw a better looking guy, a man in uniform, who worked hard on giving me multiples.  He was perfectly willing to pay me for my time.  I am not disappointed.  Your tackiness is excused.

Escort, Hooker, Courtesan, Provider, Prostitute, Ho

Flitty, dilettantish, Jack of All Trades.  I have never been accused of being a passionate person, outside of the bedroom.  This is something I do, on and off since December 2011, wait - no - I took a few offers before that... my first was September 2010 - a hand job in addition to a half mile "ride" - I just took it on a whim, took the guy's offer.  The second was an ex-coworker a couple of months later - I got screwed on that one.  The next was an offer from the street, during the summer of 2011, when I was doing something else.  I took a few of those.  That December, a friend suggested I try off of a couple of internet sites  The rest is history.  Periodically, I find myself... here.

Today was a mad scramble looking for people.  Most of the guys I saw were ones I had either already been talking to, or had seen before.  I took some cheap stuff today.  I had to.  Would I rather hold out for potentially nothing?  Last night, nothing went through.  The internet - it's so hit and miss.  I do not like the crap... often times this reminds me of "commission only" telemarketing.  I have no qualms about the sex part.  No, I do not feel degraded.  What I hate is the bullshit that surrounds it.  The talking to people forever, and it goes nowhere.  The guys just looking to be sent jack-off material.  The flakes.  The people just fucking around.  The ones looking for a free ride.  The ones who screw you over - I am a lot better about not letting that happen anymore... But I had two of those this week! It hadn't happened in so long, and it was crushing.  The first on then had the nerve to email me back and tell me that's why I need a pimp. Well, Mr. Wannabe Pimp, if this is the way you go about trying to get girls - no wonder you don't have any!

I have lived in Las Vegas for five years.  This was not the life I had imagined, but at least it's an interesting one!  Considering I've been propositioned since I was a teenager, maybe the men saw something in me that I did not.  I was a virgin until I was 21.  Examining my existence in this town, I have not managed to stay stable.  I should take the hint to make a quick exit.  But I am so stubborn to "make it" here.  I have this need to prove to myself that I can.  I fall back on this when I need to.

Some days are good, some days are bad, some days are in between.  My sex drive fluctuates, so I suppose this works pretty well.  There are times I want nothing to do with sex for months on end.  Other times I want it all the time.  Plenty of times, I can take it or leave it, but certainly enjoy it when it's happening!

There's no way in hell I would let some people know I do this, even some people who are the "skid row" type  There's this strange dividing line.  Sometimes your secret lives have secret lives.

My name is Marie, and I am a periodic prostitute.